I missed it

We have had to make some sleep adjustments. A certain person in this house seems to have gotten us into some bad habits. I don’t feel it’s right to name names, but I’ll say that her name starts with “M”.
It’s just that I have a weakness for snuggling with him. I know it – and he knows it too. And the big boy bed allows for snuggling in a way the crib never did. Tonight I tried to stay away – I sat right by his door – a good 4, shoot, maybe 5 feet away from him. His lullaby playlist was going, it was quiet for a few moments, and then I heard, “Mommy – you are too far away! You are this far away (hands stretched wide) and I need you THIS far away (hands touching). I buckle. And this is why we need to make sleep adjustments. At least I didn’t get IN the bed. So as I sat kneeling beside his bed with my head resting near his, we hold hands – and with his free hand he starts to play with my hair. Of course. Because this is what he knows to do – his Mama has played with his hair any time his head has been with in reach of my hands – since there was nothing but a little fuzz to enjoy. I sit, truly relaxed and can hardly fathom that my tiny fuzzy headed baby is now old enough to play with his mom’s hair, to sleep in a big boy bed, to talk and reason in ways that astound me every day – and then it hits me. I missed his three and a half year old birthday. We’ve been calling him “three and a half” since early December – but the actual day that marks this occasion was January 22. I missed itAnd again, it doesn’t matter which corner generic cheap cialis of the world you might be hiding or working on it. In current years, herbalism in basic has been modernized, with the introduction of quality assurance generic prescription viagra without and standardization. There are a variety of different theories out there, but one thing is for sure: cheap levitra professional It’s common, and it’s not going away (on its own) anytime soon. What is the name of a vegetable that is still in season in the winter and has female viagra in india been on the top ever since its arrival in the market. . I will still celebrate in my special Mama way – I will go through and select my 100 most favorite photo moments of the last 6 months, and put them in a special folder as I relive each moment… and then inevitably, I will look back at all my collection of 100’s. Revel in the reality of this boy I waited an eternity to meet.

I finally nudge myself away from the bed. Probably just 2 or 3 feet away this time. I close my eyes in hopes it will encourage him. Maybe 10 minutes later I hear, “Mama?” and I open my eyes to see his hand outstretched toward me. I come closer. After all his nose is all stuffy – it’s hard to get to sleep when you can breathe like normal. As soon as I get close, he puts his head directly on mine. Something he has done since he was old enough to move his own body. I get it – we want to feel as close to each other on the outside as we do on the insides. It’s impossible, but we do our very best. And in a matter of moments I feel him heavy and know that he’s asleep. And so we’ll start the sleep adjustments another night. Probably when Daddy is putting him to bed.

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